Recently, I looked into the mirror. Man, I have that amount of gray? Really? It has been quite a ride for these 47 years. I have seen just a bit. I am noticing the lines and have earned every line, wrinkle or smile thingy. Does that make me old or wise? That is the point today. I am thinking about what has happened in the last many years which have made me a better manager.
Think about your age or how you have aged; physiological or morphological (both I think). You look different. No question. And now dig deep into what you have done in your career. I know I look different because of what has happened and how much I have traveled and with whom I have engaged. So the next implication is what has happened that has caused you look at “x” in a very different way. And then how are you acting now 17 years later (or whatever the years may be)? Are you looking at “it” with an incredibly different lens?
Here’s where I put this conversation into a placeholder in my life. My 30th birthday party. I lived in Hoboken, NJ (right across the street from the bad guy in Ghost; you know the friend who was bad – Tony Goldwyn) and worked in NYC for a very large fashion company. I had pretty much just moved into this place and was in many ways at the height of my fashion career at that time in that context. I would not call it the height of my career in general given what I am doing now, just then and that is important to note. Think of that time in your life and reflect. I was working in NYC! I was working for a logo you all know. I was failing miserably (at this stage of my career – more to follow). I had no clue what my boss wanted or needed me to do and I was floundering. Then on the advent of my boss saying you will probably be fired within weeks. She then said here is a task for you this week and I rocked it. I had the royal flush. I analogously hit the grand slam of home runs. I had the hat trick. I had whatever they say in curling. That time in retrospect was what I can now say, was a big moment or big time in my professional life. What about you? Was there that banner moment? Did you feel the heat and embrace the calm? Trust me; many have it a whole lot harder than me. What has happened in your life since that moment? What has changed and what is ready to change? Have you identified what has changed in you in driving the efforts of others? I DID NOT KNOW THEN, but I do know now. Maybe that is you.
Look in the mirror. What do you see? Think about what to do and how to be and when to act? This is not a difficult page in your life, despite possibly being in it at this very second. Give yourself a bit of a break and a bit of pause to survey the landscape. Look into the mirror and just say “OK, what next?” And it is what you do right now when in this or that moment head on that makes what happens next? What have you learned?
Breathe. It has been 17 years since my first true “aha” in management. I had a couple of “aha’s” in sales and other such ways prior and after that management thingy, but I digress and that is for another blog post. I realized these things for you to embrace.
What makes you “you”? What makes you smile and laugh and want to wake up every morning?
What does your team need from you? What more of or even less of? Do they get what they need from you?
Are you engaged in something that stretches you? Does it stimulate your act or acts?
If you had to write recipe for what a good manager is like, would you have all the ingredients?
God forbid, if you were hit by a bus tomorrow, would your replacement know how to help your team be successful?
Time will put a bit of perspective on all things. It and what you have learned will guide you. It will make the not so obvious, obvious for now and at least for the next month. Listen, ratchet this up for just a second, you can suck and still rock! You can be a young (or old) manager, “biff it big time” and still have a place with your team. Own your mistake, own your success and move forward. Even if the mistake makes someone else go “really?” Let your team win. Let them know you care about what makes them win. Let them rise above their simple task. And say “thank you” when that happens.
I looked in the mirror and saw me looking back. I saw me, the guy who talks about management stuff, looking back. I saw me asking what I would say to someone younger, maybe not so manage-y than me, about not sucking. I saw me, an older manager with two, or three or a several hundred things to say to someone else about getting things done through others. I am not the burning bush. I am someone who has talked a bit about this kind of stuff. And maybe, just maybe, I am writing this after someone else looking in their own mirror and asked, how do I deal with this headache? Simply put. You will learn, you may not win and they will be OK. Look outside of the mirror and embrace someone else who may have been there just like you. They thought just like you, “this (explicative) sucks and now I have to act”. Reach outside the mirror. Reach for an answer. It can come from one place or another. It can come from the unlikely of places.
I am gray. I sucked and I rocked especially that one day for sure. How about you? What did you see? What does the mirror say?
Cheers