“Can’t we just get along “ was a said by Rodney King in 1991 during a stressful moment in our history. Despite the hard stuff and everything that was a negative, the saying and feeling was that of hope. A hope to be, uh, what…loved, appreciated, maybe just liked for who we are. Even in the midst of all that surrounded you; however, “icky” it may have been, the goal was to be liked.
Managers can sometimes have a similar desire. And at what risk?
I have known managers who have let things slide in a desire to not rock the boat, to avoid conflict, to be liked. They have let their buddy come in late and then the next day, speak to someone else about their tardiness. They have allowed a big seller to be non-compliant because of a fear of losing them, their ability to sell and make the numbers. They have let dis-function hinder the team because they may have to make a decision in which someone goes away and they need a body on the floor for coverage. They are being held hostage. Because they do not want to be the “bad cop”.
In some ways, I completely get it. When I was working at a factory line job during the summers to make money for college, my dad every now and again gave me some pointers. He worked there as well. He was well respected and had a nice position. I didn’t want to make my dad disappointed, so I worked very hard. Every now and again he would comment on this and that. One moment, I will never forget. He said something to the effect, “you are not at work to make friends. You are there to do a job.” I have brought this up more than once. I am pretty sure I have this in my second book. One might immediately assume my father is saying to be a machine. No, look a bit deeper. To have friends is great at work. It is what makes the job enjoyable and fun. What he was pointing out was that the job is our centricity. We have to focus our energies on doing a good job; in making our efforts matter. I believe both can exist in the right perspective. You must be very careful how this works when you are the manager.
There are times when a sales rep is elevated to be the manager of the very group of people they were a peer. This can be very challenging for the new manager. One minute they were the buddy and now they are the boss. Are they able to create a boundary and then manage the team and the business? If I am managing buddies, I must have a boundary discussion. I must clearly define the roles and responsibilities of all parties involved and what happens on each side of that boundary. This is such a reality in retail. In any workplace for that matter.
So what to do, what to do? First off, do not stop being liked. Duh. Understand that being liked is a result, not a pointed action item. It comes from being consistent. Being authentic. Having values and integrity. Showing your passion and enthusiasm. Caring about your team and striving to coach and develop them. If you do these things, yeah, you will probably be liked. Do not in an effort to be liked, force something, anything that makes someone question your intentions. That is lame.
I bet, despite my thoughts, you still want to be liked as the “manager”. Fine. Consider this; you are the manager of five sales reps. You have just been elevated to manager (or maybe you have been their manager for 6 months – whatever). You have to do the following:
- Tell Skippy he has not hit his targets for the last 3 months.
- Write Todd up for his second being late-kinda thing.
- Congratulate Mary for hitting her targets again (10 months straight).
- Remind Andrea that she has to sell and not always just do the operations job.
- Remind Joey he has to do operations and not just sell.
What do you do?
Cheers