You have a perspective in life. And so do I. And that is why we sometimes do not get “it” right. We are just being “us” and “we” and that gets in the way of getting along. We have a filter. We take in and drop off everything we say, hear and do based on this perspective. And there is always the “it” in our life. We have this perspective to offer at any given time and there it is. But what about it? It matters, right? It has to and everyone must be on the same page, right? It is that thing in the business we must all agree to and fulfill each and every day. OK, are you saying my perspective must align with an agreed upon collective perspective on something specific (i.e. it) that matters in the business that I clock in for from nine to five? Yep, I promised we would get back to this. This is easy and very hard to navigate. Know this right now – your perspective, your “you-ness” does have a place. The reality check is if you know that and if you know how it works in your job. “It” meets you. A specific thing at a specific time stares you right in the face at this exact moment.
I wrote about my first job at Fink’s Jewelry Store…long, long time ago. Stewart Fink hired me. He was what about fifty plus years old when he hired me. Does that matter? 1981 and did that matter? Think about that. Two ways to look at it. In 1981 and at age seventeen, I wanted what exactly? And does the owner at age fifty-plus factor as we contemplate retail realities with a team of people at age seventeen, twenty, twenty one or twenty seven? Stewart may be gone now, but his realities still exist. I am the manager and I expect you to do “this”. We all inherently know that in exchange for something, something else is required. I got a paycheck and Stewart told me to do stuff. I get that.
Stewart was a not a bad person. Not at all. I can as if I were back at the store at this very moment hear him say “the employees today just don’t have a work ethic”. That theory has not gone away. Seriously, if I hear that from my current clients one more time, I will literally rip my arm off and bludgeon them with it. And by the way, that will be much easier to do as of late as I dislocated my shoulder last week snowboarding. No, I am serious; I can do with much more relative ease than the 18 years and one week preceding this post. “Those” employees do have a work ethic, it is just not yours. This must matter. They do show up, but for completely different reasons than you think. And they are not bad ones – just different ones.
We are all in a very different place – each and every one of us. We all have different motivation in life. We walk in whatever faith we have. We walk knowing what we know. We decide something and then we do what we do or wish to do because of something in our life that stimulates that decision. Do I expect you to have the same motivating factor? I think too many managers grasp for this. Everyday, we react. What we know shapes what we do. So as a manager or owner, pay attention. The “they” you manage and lead are not motivated the same way you are. Stop trying to motivate them.
So how about the idea you will start sculpting an environment where they say or do “this or that”? Huh? OK, sit down and grab a coffee. Your team has their own motivations. They know that that matters to them already (even if we do not know what it is). Change your focal point. What if you start sharing information about the job, give them a say in the job, coach them, let them vent, allow them to say “yep” or “nope” in some things and then actually allow them to figure it out and do something even at the risk of making a mistake. Stimulate the possibility they can actually do the thing. Just so you know, they may fail…they may fail miserably and then say thank you and what did we learn from this? Are you able to embrace this reality?
In my most recent posts about what matters, you and your perspective represents the ultimate “it depends”. You decide the matter-ness. If you have a team of five, you have five realities of matter-ness. You have five perspectives on anything and everything in the business (let alone anything outside of what you do). I dare you to bring up something outside the business, like politics. Yikes, do not do that! My point is that motivation is someone else’s choice and if I am the manager of a team of five, I must think about five different ways to stimulate motivation. I had a manager who had one perspective and he expected we all must share his perspective, period. That made for a complicated, disingenuous and ineffective team format. We agreed and disagreed (in private – our heads), and that was at the heart of the issue. The manager made us embrace a concept without the thought of how each of us would respond. I wanted to scream ”but that is not what I would do.” Let’s be real. The employee’s perspective may not matter or impact priorities. It is still there. Are you embracing this? You may be thinking, “yeah but they are the employee, they need follow.” Yep, they are. And you are tasked with getting “x” done through whom exactly?
Listen, I am guilty of this. I am a parent. I have three children. One is from my previous marriage. My son is a U.S. Marine. He is married. He is 21. I recently told a peer, I could be a grandparent this year. He immediately responded “Something you need to tell me?” My response was, ”No, they are not pregnant”. Then said “Give Grace (my five-year old) a book of matches, a bunch of dry grass and put her in a house and then ask a different question.” Do you get it? There will be a fire. I am not disparaging my son or daughter-in-law. I am only embracing the possibilities given the realities. I could offer very specific advice right now, but will not (unless they ask). I must realize what can happen and then embrace what happens next. My son is going back to Afghanistan very soon. I love son and daughter-in-law very much. Their perspective is occurring in tandem with mine. Their realities are different than mine. And I am not talking about big stuff here like morals or ethics or right versus wrong. I am saying, I as parent and we as employers have a different set of “what matters” as it applies to others. Even the small stuff. Having a baby is not small stuff; it is only a contextual point to reference. We must look beyond those parameters and look deeper into stuff that may matter to others and then come up with how we would manage, lead, coach, mentor, encourage, influence and simply be with others. I am not trying to manage my son and daughter-in-law, only look at their reality and perspective and then know with great love and appreciation their perspective will always be different than mine. OK, I am sorry I brought my family into this.
Maybe I should have just said, what matters is relative. Perspective is relative. We cannot wear a personal shroud of understanding or look through our own lenses to see what it is. Our view changes it based on our own filter. We must alter our view. Every employee does matter and what matters to them is unique to them and may change every day. This means it must matter to us. In some way, we must allow the perspective of others impact our decisions for sure. And especially for the things that create change, innovation, new-ness and embracing others and how they see the “thing”.
And by the way, if Kyle and Lauren would have a baby, I would be blessed. Oh yeah, it would be one spoiled child. That is how it matters to me. What matters to you? How do you see it? How does it see you?