Imagine this situation, you are coming into work. You are the manager. Remember that. You walk past a sales rep and inhale what can be best described as “What the heck? Did you use the soap called rotten food stuffed into a decomposing carcass covered with ass? Or did you just not pay attention to your hygiene?” OK, that may have been a bit much. I am sure there is an HR manager somewhere saying, “What did he just write in his post?” If that is you, first off, it was to create an impact and second, really? Get over it.
I will state in all seriousness, beware this can become very complicated and potentially the hardest conversation you will ever, ever have with a team member. And in some cases this can be legally a pinch in the bum, particularly if you have this conversation and then the person is let go.
So, let’s move slowly. There are degrees of “funk”. Sorry, couldn’t resist. There is excessive cologne or perfume. There is bad breathe; possibly either due to smoking or after lunch garlic lingerings. There is the ubiquitous “haven’t showered for the past three days and “I’m not sure where one buys deodorant.” I realize that I have been a bit cheeky thus far and with all due respect to HR folk (and their cringing as I write); I will be more succinct and serious as we move forward. I will look at this in stages. Cool?
In a very strong article from a university study (call me if you want to know what university…it’s in the eastern U.S.), the most important aspect of having a conversation of this nature as manager and leader is to be both compassionate and direct. You must look and deal with this as in any job-related issues. Oh, by the way, do you have a policy on this? No…make one! You must be clear about what expectations (e.g. laundering, grooming and/or attire requirements). Also think about this question, “How much do face-to-face interactions factor in this team member’s job responsibility and would an odor affect their ability to perform successfully?” This could be customer facing or other employees.
Now think about this, how would you feel if someone, your manager, alludes to your odor? The two key responses you must consider for sure are both surprise and defensiveness. Then there is the inevitable un-comfortable-ness of even having a conversation like this. Think about this right now. What would you say and how would you say it. Some of you are going, “yep been there, it sucked.” Some of you have not had to have this conversation and you are close to freaking out. Breathe. It may happen.
So the steps…
Be real, empathetic and call it. Tag the “elephant”. Tell them “we need to speak about something that may take you be surprise and it’s sensitive and you may be a bit defensive. I get it and we need to be clear about it.” This removes some psychological venom in the chat.
Next, do not say anyone else said “this or that”. State this message comes from you based on what you have experienced. “I have noticed that…”
Ask their opinion and be ready for their “I had no idea.” Again think empathy. Ask them what they would recommend to remedy the situation. Say “it needs to change and what do you think will change what I am noticing.” This would also be the best time to quote policy on hygiene, grooming and attire.
DO NOT EVER ask if this is either a medical condition or culturally based. EVER! If they offer, that is different. I want you to become incredibly familiar with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) and what can and cannot be said or even implied. If they do offer information that is related to something in this realm, be open to what they may need or require or even if accommodations may need to be made to support the team member.
As with any conversation about dealing with any kind of issue, ask them for their commitment, share what you declared as next steps and what will happen if the issue does not improve.
I have had to have this conversation. It is hard and I know I didn’t do too well the first time. The advice was already shared, be compassionate and direct. I believe people respect honesty, even if it stings a little. Own the conversation, be objective and ask what is needed to change.
I shower every day. I don’t wear cologne. And I still get funky. Everyone does and in varying degrees. It’s true. Cheeseburgers and Kung Paw Chicken do leave a residual odor within certain amount of time after ingesting. I used to run in the afternoon. Guess what, you sweat when you run or even walk fast. Go figure. I did not face a customer during those times (just around my brother-in-law and a couple of times in Toronto). What is the standard if I have to face my team or the customer? Does this matter? Yes. Will it be hard? Yes. Will you do it?
Cheers