Yesterday something hit me. When thinking about a growth opportunity in management and leadership, I contemplated how does embracing habits fit into the discussion? Think about it. How often are we influenced by our habits in managing or leading our team? You do anything enough times, regardless of it being either right or wrong, it may continue as second nature.
Point being, we are creatures of habit. We get used to doing certain things, certain ways because…well, maybe that is the way we were instructed or shown. Or maybe we do “it” that way, and no one gave us feedback, so we just kept on doing it. Or maybe we do what makes sense because doing “it” that way is simpler, easier or faster. Think path of least resistance. It is only when we have to face our mistakes or inefficiencies that we question our habits. We question our behavior because the end result is not desired or meets expectation. “BUT I am used to doing it THAT way!” “BUT your way is wrong or is not working.”
So we sometimes have to look at how we engage in our management and leadership behaviors. Do we have habits we need to change for the benefit of the business or the team or the customer? First, change is inevitable. Second, change is necessary and third, change can be hard. Especially if it is about changing what could be years of established behavior. Think “old dogs, new tricks.” OK, I am not calling you a canine or expressing any belief you have any canine tendencies. I am only using the analogy that it is hard to change habit, especially engrained ones.
Here is an example. I used to think it was OK to use humor in just about everything. I was raised in a family that told jokes all the time. Some of them were off color and had what may be considered now as rather course and inappropriate language. It was accepted behavior and nothing was every challenged. Fast forward slightly and now I am a manager using humor and jokes as a means to endear myself to the team. And I offended others. What? That wasn’t my intention! Or how about a manager who loves numbers and gets numbers and uses numbers in their coaching so much so it loses the team because they do not understand. What? Doesn’t everyone know numbers? Or how about a manager who is so interested in their status, they fail to encourage and grow their team because it does not heighten status for themselves? What? This isn’t about me? We have habits…tendencies. And for whatever reason. No harm, no foul. We may need a wake-up call that our behavior is not producing a smart (specific, measureable, attainable, relevant or timely) result. Our habit may be hurting our business, our team or ourselves.
So what to do? Well, let’s look at the hardest things to the easiest.
Re-train your brain. I do not know anyone who is anxious to embrace changing how they do things to this degree. You may have to do a complete 180 degree turn…are you willing? Stop, say cold turkey stop, coaching that way or communicating to your team in that way. If what you are doing is not producing good results…isn’t it insane to do the same thing over and over again.
Be willing to change. Change will never occur if you do want to change. It’s that simple. You may even vehemently believe you are right or even “more right” than someone else. And what if you are wrong? That may be a hard pill to swallow, and one that needs to be swallowed nonetheless. Get over it.
Ask for a perspective. Sometimes we cannot see what others can clearly see. We are so used to our ways. Maybe it will be tough love, maybe a nudge and maybe a punch in the face. We may need someone else to tell us what needs to change. We may think everything is OK but everyone else is saying it is not. I learned from a good friend in Nova Scotia, “If ten people tell you, you are drunk…you’re drunk.”
Pick just one behavior to tweek. Maybe now is not the best time to change everything, but what about one thing. Evaluate one thing you can do differently. And my advice (and not really, credit must go to John C. Maxwell) start whatever you need to with a strength. Let that be your beacon instead of something that needs to be fixed, improved or invented (or re-invented).
Change is not easy. It requires vulnerability and an ability to surrender. As managers, we have to change and sometimes not because we want to. I have fought change and I bet you have as well. We like being set in our ways. It’s safe, or something like that. Maybe it is just easy because there so much other stuff to think about and it’s nice to have something off our list. Really? What’s hard? Doing the same thing, not getting the results and then having to do all the work to deal with it? Or agreeing to change, doing all the work upfront, getting the results and then not having to deal with it later? Your call. I can’t answer that for you. It’s your habit.
Cheers