Has technology affected communication? When asked, I provoked the managers present that it has produced a certain loss of effectiveness. I was immediately challenged with “What? How can you suggest that? We can communicate whenever, wherever, all over the globe with a push of a button. Communication now is incredibly effective.”
Yes. You’re right. Speed…coverage…devices…pokemon go…amazing. When a couple goes out to dinner, not so much. I am referring to the direct interaction between two people. The verbal face-to-face exchange involving sending and receiving information. That communication.
The effects of technology on face-to-face communication is not just new discourse, it is becoming a socio-physiological reality. Articles like “Has technology ruined our ability to communicate?” to “Is texting ruining the art of conversation?” are becoming common place. Research is becoming available about how communication is evolving – evolving in how we as a species interact with information and each other.
Some of my favorite conversations in management and leadership workshops center around communication. The art and science of face-to-face interaction. One-on-one discussions. Group meetings. Coaching sessions. Training presentations. Technology is changing all of these. And the definition of effectiveness and efficiency is changing right along with it.
Take away your device…would you still be able to communicate? Face-to-face?
What to do?
If we can’t stop technology (and do we really want that as an option?), how do we influence this situation? The first thing that came to my mind was a skill set I learned a thousand years ago when I was just getting started…the sales process.
Regardless of where you read it, or heard it, or studied it, it has only five steps. I believe if we embrace each one for what it can do and how it matters, we can improve our communication with each other.
Greeting. In sales, customers are programmed to say “I’m just looking”. The goal then is to break down resistance with some type of non-threatening, barrier reducing, common ground gaining acknowledgement. Call it ‘small talk’.
Discovery. It is better to ask and listen, then to approach and speak. Ever have someone remember you more than others? I bet it wasn’t what you said. It was probably how and why you listened.
Build. How you build (or bridge) a sale is not unlike how you build a relationship. By paying attention to what matters to them and then supporting them. Their needs, goals and aspirations supersede your own.
Close. Not so much closing the deal as a mutual agreement and commitment to the value of the interaction…of the relationship.
Reinforce. If all has been successfully realized, both will want to do it again and again. That is the nature of a true relationship. Following up shows you listened and you care.
For some, the idea a sales step or process helping solve our communication woes may sound like a stretch or even ridiculous. Why? We communicate some kind of value every day in all that we do, think and share. Selling is merely an exchange of value. What we say and how we say it is our currency and widget. Technology is merely the exchange rate.
Realistically, the first step is to put down the phone. And then in the unlikely chance you face an actual conversation, and forgot how…remember this post. #forgothowtochat